Subject: Safely Embodied 10/09: Bathroon Reno
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Living life is always a full experience.
I'm being taught about transformation through a bathroom
renovation. More on that in the article below!
We had a marvelous meeting with those
participating in the Embodying
Your Full Potential workshop series. There were times my heart burst
open listening to the respect, care, and generous spirit
generated by our being together.
Embodied Online Community (SEOC) welcomed
some new members. It's such a pleasure having contact with
like minded seekers on the healing journey. Let me know if
you're interested, we'll keep you posted as we bring in new
members. I'd love to have you join us!
In the meantime, this October ezine has:
article on transformation occuring through a bathroom
practice section on everyday transformation
on the Becoming Safely Embodied Basic Skills Teleseminar
- and the
Safely Embodied Online Community
Nurture your heart - and your life,
one of my bathrooms undergo transformation. It used to be all
tile, all the time: wall to wall, floor and ceiling with this pale
lavender tile. I never could adjust to the color of it,
always wanted it to change, but never could figure out just how to
make the small room work with all I needed in it. The thought
of shopping for every little detail and figuring out exactly how to
make it all work didn't appeal to me. I had too many other
things I would rather do! So I did nothing for a long while,
living with how it was. Until, of course, something happened.
Life is always intervening, orienting us toward expansion and
openness even as we resist. In the case of the bathroom it
was a drip that turned into a steady stream. It was like a
PTSD symptom getting worse, calling for my attention - until I
finally had to address it. The constant stream of water
flowing was cutting through my carefully designed avoidance of it
(doesn't that sound familiar to all of us!?)
My 2009 New Year's resolution has been to practice not fighting
anything. What an incredible learning experience
it's given me. I've relished applying it to life even as I
see how frequently and insidiously I fight inside my own mind,
resisting addressing something, pushing against what's in
front of me, or not flowing with what was going on (even if I
didn't like it.) Now after months of practice I more readily
remember my resolution in times of stress. Applying it,
though, sometimes takes a breath and an internal shift.
My bathroom has given me another opportunity to practice.
Finding a contractor I feel comfortable and confident with made a
difference. My choice wasn't necessarily a rational one but
felt in sync with my values. I had read about Lobsang
Pelgor on the front page of the Boston Globe when he was building
the throne for the Dalai Lama's visit to Boston. I knew
immediately he would be my choice.
click here to see a video on building the Dalai
Each morning I look at the open bathroom with it's guts
revealed and reflect on the transformational path of life.
When we suffer our guts are opened up; we often feel
eviscerated, exposed, vulnerable, raw, and ugly.
Healing comes as we put the pieces back together tenderly and
kindly. I watch the gentle Tibetan carpenters and plumbers
quietly and gently lay in the electrical wires and the plumbing,
hammering in the new guts and I'm grateful for their
presence. I realized how quietly they work, no loud music
blaring through the house; instead there is a meditative presence.
I feel as if the bathroom is being blessed as it's being
That might be the metaphor for healing: take the time to care for
the process of healing even as it occurs. Learn to love the
moments of being triggered, learning to cherish our nervous system
even as it vibrates insistently with pain. As we soften into
these moments we increase our capacity to stay engaged with life by
digesting what gets thrown at us. We also find life gets
easier and easier. I wish we can all find more ease on the
have the "opportunity" for making choices to
transform. I deliberately put "opportunity"
in quotes. These opportunities are often disguised as
heart-wrenching, infuriating, insufferable, annoying, irritating....
I'm sure you have a few words to describe how it shows up for you!
we decide to engage with what's so horrible in the moment, soften
into it, we have the chance to open into a new
possibility. It's not always about opening up to a joyful and
exhiliarating experience. Often these times are about carving
out new space for ourselves and we're not usually that comfortable
times we might even find ourselves saying "No"
to something, setting boundaries to direct the flow of our energy
rather than going with what's easiest. Those small
every day choice points create space for what's important to us,
allowing our strength to emerge from inside.
time this month to be present to possible moments that are
beckoning you to tranformation. Listen carefully to what
might be a protective stance rather than an authentic
exploration. Without making anything wrong, even those
protective parts that arise, see if you can generate more
curiosity, watching the process rather than being gripped by it.
always, I'd love to hear more about your process. A good way
to do that is to click here and post comments on my blog.
for Trauma Survivors: Free Teleseminar
Saturday, October 10
2 pm EST / 1 pm CST / 12 noon MST
/ 11 am PST / 7 pm Ireland and UK
fundamentals of any kind of meditation practice will unquestionably
support you in healing your history. As you practice the
basics of meditation you will be training yourself to witness
and observe what happens (what we usually call
mindfulness) and also training your ability to focus on where
you want to go instead of having your mind take you where it's
patterned to go (concentration practices.)
In these two
free calls we'll explore the difference between the these two basic
kinds of meditation. I'll give you simple practices you can
try in your life. Both
calls will be recorded and sent out to everyone who registers even
if you can't be on the call itself. Click here to register!
The 7-Step Recipe to Connect With Your
and Guide Her Toward Healthy Eating,
A Strong Self-Esteem, and A Positive Body Image
(so she can live a big, full, meaningful life!)
If you have a daughter, you won't want to miss this free call by my
friend and colleague, Karen
Schachter, on October 29, called: The 7-Step
Recipe to Connect With Your Daughter and Guide Her Toward Healthy
Eating, A Strong Self-Esteem, and A Positive Body Image (so she can
live a big, full, meaningful life!).
With eating disorders and obesity on the rise, not to mention
"disordered eating" and body hatred running rampant, it
is imperative for moms to be fully armed to support their daughters
as they weave their way through the maze of "growing up girl."
Karen will share key strategies and important tips from her
experiences as a psychotherapist, a health counselor, and a mom of
a daughter. To
find out more information email me and I'll have Karen send you the
information. You'll love her. She's
dynamic, supportive, and knows how to help mothers and daughters
make good decisions.
Safely Embodied Online Community -- Be the first
to learn more!!
you're interested in more information about
our Safely Embodied Online
Community which will include 24/7
access to people who are on a simliar healing journey just
reply to this email. We are gearing up to let a few people in
at a time to create an easeful connection for everyone. Love
to have you there!!
As always, I value your thoughts, comments and
connection. Many of you have taken the time to write and let
me know your thoughts. Coming out of isolation is a critical
part of the healing process. I thought we might want to make
it easier for you. Click here and we'll send you to my
blog where you can post to your hearts content!
Deirdre Fay | Becoming
Safely Embodied | 23 Main Street | Watertown | MA | 02143