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My hope is to write a monthly ezine that will inspire and support the healing of trauma in the world. That’s in addition to a blog, a forum, various websites, a home study course... some which are still to come.

Stay tuned!

October 2009 ezine


Subject: Safely Embodied 10/09: Bathroon Reno

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October, 2009

 Vol 1, Issue 10

SE logo

Dear Deirdre,

   Deirdre tourquoise


Living life is always a full experience.  I'm being taught about transformation through a bathroom renovation.  More on that in the article below!


We had a marvelous meeting with those participating in the Embodying Your Full Potential workshop series.  There were times my heart burst open listening to the respect, care, and generous spirit generated by our being together.     


The Safely Embodied Online Community (SEOC) welcomed some new members.  It's such a pleasure having contact with like minded seekers on the healing journey.  Let me know if you're interested, we'll keep you posted as we bring in new members.  I'd love to have you join us!


In the meantime, this October ezine has: 

  • an article on transformation occuring through a bathroom reno 
  • the practice section on everyday transformation
  • information on the Becoming Safely Embodied Basic Skills Teleseminar
  • and the Safely Embodied Online Community 

Nurture your heart - and your life,

October Issue

Bathroom Transformation


Workshops and Talks


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Bird on the fountain  A Bathroom Reno Transformation

I'm watching one of my bathrooms undergo transformation.  It used to be all tile, all the time: wall to wall, floor and ceiling with this pale lavender tile.  I never could adjust to the color of it, always wanted it to change, but never could figure out just how to make the small room work with all I needed in it.  The thought of shopping for every little detail and figuring out exactly how to make it all work didn't appeal to me.  I had too many other things I would rather do!  So I did nothing for a long while, living with how it was.  Until, of course, something happened.

Life is always intervening, orienting us toward expansion and openness even as we resist.  In the case of the bathroom it was a drip that turned into a steady stream.  It was like a PTSD symptom getting worse, calling for my attention - until I finally had to address it.  The constant stream of water flowing was cutting through my carefully designed avoidance of it (doesn't that sound familiar to all of us!?) 

My 2009 New Year's resolution has been to practice not fighting anything.    What an incredible learning experience it's given me.  I've relished applying it to life even as I see how frequently and insidiously I fight inside my own mind, resisting addressing something,  pushing against what's in front of me, or not flowing with what was going on (even if I didn't like it.)  Now after months of practice I more readily remember my resolution in times of stress.  Applying it, though, sometimes takes a breath and an internal shift. 

My bathroom has given me another opportunity to practice. 

Finding a contractor I feel comfortable and confident with made a difference.  My choice wasn't necessarily a rational one but felt in sync with my values.   I had read about Lobsang Pelgor on the front page of the Boston Globe when he was building the throne for the Dalai Lama's visit to Boston.  I knew immediately he would be my choice.  

click here to see a video on building the Dalai Lama's throne

Each morning I look at the open bathroom with it's guts revealed and reflect on the transformational path of life.   When we suffer our guts are opened up; we often feel eviscerated, exposed, vulnerable, raw, and ugly.

Healing comes as we put the pieces back together tenderly and kindly.  I watch the gentle Tibetan carpenters and plumbers quietly and gently lay in the electrical wires and the plumbing, hammering in the new guts and I'm grateful for their presence.  I realized how quietly they work, no loud music blaring through the house; instead there is a meditative presence.  I feel as if the bathroom is being blessed as it's being rebuilt. 

That might be the metaphor for healing: take the time to care for the process of healing even as it occurs.  Learn to love the moments of being triggered, learning to cherish our nervous system even as it vibrates insistently with pain.  As we soften into these moments we increase our capacity to stay engaged with life by digesting what gets thrown at us.  We also find life gets easier and easier.  I wish we can all find more ease on the journey. 


 Everyday Practice

Everyday we have the "opportunity" for making choices to transform.   I deliberately put "opportunity" in quotes.  These opportunities are often disguised as heart-wrenching, infuriating, insufferable, annoying, irritating.... I'm sure you have a few words to describe how it shows up for you!


If, however, we decide to engage with what's so horrible in the moment, soften into it, we have the chance to open into a new possibility.  It's not always about opening up to a joyful and exhiliarating experience.  Often these times are about carving out new space for ourselves and we're not usually that comfortable with that! 


At these times we might even find ourselves saying "No" to something, setting boundaries to direct the flow of our energy rather than going with what's easiest.   Those small every day choice points create space for what's important to us, allowing our strength to emerge from inside.


Take some time this month to be present to possible moments that are beckoning you to tranformation.  Listen carefully to what might be a protective stance rather than an authentic exploration.  Without making anything wrong, even those protective parts that arise, see if you can generate more curiosity, watching the process rather than being gripped by it.


And as always, I'd love to hear more about your process.  A good way to do that is to click here and post comments on my blog. 


Bird on the fountain  Workshops and Teleseminars


Meditation for Trauma Survivors: Free Teleseminar 

Saturday, October 10

2 pm EST /  1 pm CST /  12 noon MST  / 11 am PST  /  7 pm Ireland and UK

The fundamentals of any kind of meditation practice will unquestionably support you in healing your history.  As you practice the basics of meditation you will be training yourself to witness and observe what happens (what we usually call mindfulness) and also training your ability to focus on where you want to go instead of having your mind take you where it's patterned to go (concentration practices.) 


In these two free calls we'll explore the difference between the these two basic kinds of meditation.  I'll give you simple practices you can try in your life.  Both calls will be recorded and sent out to everyone who registers even if you can't be on the call itself.   Click here to register!


The 7-Step Recipe to Connect With Your Daughter 

 and Guide Her Toward Healthy Eating,

A Strong Self-Esteem, and A Positive Body Image

(so she can live a big, full, meaningful life!)

If you have a daughter, you won't want to miss this free call by my friend and colleague, Karen Schachter, on October 29, called:  The 7-Step Recipe to Connect With Your Daughter and Guide Her Toward Healthy Eating, A Strong Self-Esteem, and A Positive Body Image (so she can live a big, full, meaningful life!).

With eating disorders and obesity on the rise, not to mention "disordered eating" and body hatred running rampant, it is imperative for moms to be fully armed to support their daughters as they weave their way through the maze of "growing up girl."  Karen will share key strategies and important tips from her experiences as a psychotherapist, a health counselor, and a mom of a daughter.  To find out more information email me and I'll have Karen send you the information.  You'll love her.  She's dynamic, supportive, and knows how to help mothers and daughters make good decisions.


Safely Embodied Online Community  -- Be the first to learn more!!


Bird on the fountain         If you're interested in more information about our     Safely Embodied Online Community which will include 24/7 access to people who are on a simliar healing journey just reply to this email.  We are gearing up to let a few people in at a time to create an easeful connection for everyone.  Love to have you there!!

 Deirdre tourquoise

 As always, I value your thoughts, comments and connection.  Many of you have taken the time to write and let me know your thoughts.  Coming out of isolation is a critical part of the healing process.  I thought we might want to make it easier for you.  Click here and we'll send you to my blog where you can post to your hearts content!



With love and kindness,



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