Thank you for your joyful reception to my ezine launch. Many of you wrote me that the term is new to you: “e(maga)zine” refers to an electronic version of a newsletter/magazine.

Couple things to notice in this issue:

• an article on triggers - a subject some of us know intimately
• practice section on concentration, the important element to stabilizing and beginning to train the mind to go where you want to go!!
• NASW talk on Becoming Safely Embodied Skills April 4, 2009
• Boston Becoming Safely Embodied Workshop for Therapists April 17-18, 2009
• and if you want to travel, I’ll be doing a couple workshops in Scotland at the end of May, 2009

One quick note, I received a wonderful number of questions. In the upcoming months I will address those questions in my blog, in this ezine, and in a website that is coming. I want to give the questions the respect they’re due.

With love and kindness,

Deirdre

Conquering Triggers With Concentration Practice

The eternal question with trauma always comes down to triggers. Flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, images, voices, nightmares - this is the everyday reality of someone healing their history of trauma and attachment. It’s a painful experience.

Triggers cloud, and usually obliterate, hope. These moments are hard to bear. Hard because they happen so often and feel unrelenting. These triggered moments spiral into darkness and suffering. It’s at these moments anyone going through this usually says, “This is too much. I can’t do it.”

Buried under all this triggered experience is the nascent wish to feel better, to feel whole, to feel solid and sure. The pain and suffering makes that difficult.

As dark and painful as being in the suffering is, there is something more compelling and profound—holding on to the often tiny, fragile beacon of hope: the wish that it can get better.

Of all the skills I have learned and taught over the years, there are two underlying fundamentals:

• being able to notice what’s there
• being able to focus on what you want instead of what is happening to you.

Being able to notice, witness, observe what arises, is generally called mindfulness. It’s an essential tool. In this ezine though, I want to address concentration - being able to focus.

The amazing thing about any trigger is that when it comes upon us it creates a reality so real, so compelling that it’s hard to “get” that it’s a trigger, that is undigested material arising. It doesn’t feel like “undigested material” - it feels real.

I remember a moment in my own healing. Something triggered me. That was pretty common during my healing heyday. I can’t remember what the specifics of this trigger were. What I do remember is walking and feeling this, whatever it was, pushing on me, obscuring my vision. I knew where I was and what I was doing but some part of me was observing how utterly difficult it was to sort out the here and now from the intrusions.

That day I walked and walked and walked. After years of meditation there was an almost automatic, albeit difficult, focusing going on. I started saying to myself, “I’m here now. I’m here now. I’m walking.”

Those years of meditation helped me intensify my focus, narrowing my field. Doing that, I noticed the “noise” subsiding, my vision clearing, and the tension in my body starting to ease.

When we’re overwhelmed by the volume that comes from being triggered, it’s really hard to hold on to the belief that things will get better.

Yet, it’s true. Training yourself to focus, to concentrate on where you want to go, and learning to intensify your focus so you don’t get sidetracked by the noise will help you remember your true nature, that you are more than the hurt, the grief, and the suffering that comes from trauma.

Practice

Try taking some time every day to practice training your mind to focus. You can try focusing on a phrase or a sound. * Use something neutral as the object of your gaze.

One of my favorite practices is to offer a blessing to someone neutral. I often do this while I am waiting in line at the grocery store or sitting in my car behind the garbage trucks on the way to work. (Cultivating patience is a virtue! And I continue to work at it.)

Think of some phrase that doesn’t carry much charge for you. It might be as simple as “May you be okay today,” or one of the classic loving kindness phrases, “May you be happy. May you be at peace.“

Say the words to yourself and extend the energy of the blessing to whoever is in front of you. Offer them the intent of the phrase. If you find thoughts intruding try heightening your attention, noticing more details about the person or the sound or the image. You don’t have to do this for long. Try it and see what happens inside you.

Of course, if you find yourself getting negatively activated, stop. If it persists, shift your attention to something relaxing and enjoyable. Never push yourself to do anything that doesn’t feel right or good to you.

There’s no failure with any of this. Whatever moments you do are laying the foundation for more. The memory will be there. Each moment of reinforcing a positive state will balance and counteract the legacy of suffering.

For additional information on concentration meditation see Loving-Kindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg. For more suggestions see Redirecting Your Course with Concentration Meditation or the section in The Becoming Safely Embodied Skills Manual available on my website www.dfay.com or on amazon.com.

* If you’re just starting, I don’t usually recommend focusing on the breath. I know most meditation books talk about focusing on the breath, but for many trauma survivors the breath can activate a lot of feelings so if you’re beginning try something that might be as neutral as possible.

Workshops and Talks

• NASW talk, April 3, 2009, Regis College, MA
• Becoming Safely Embodied Workshop for Therapists, April 17-18, 2009, The Center at Westwoods, Westwood, MA
• Befriending Inner Chaos Workshop, May 18-19, 2009, Glasgow, Scotland
• Becoming Safely Embodied Workshop, May 21, 2009, Edinburgh, Scotland
  

Thank you for your notes of support and questions about becoming more safely embodied. I love hearing from you and am finding ways to answer your questions that will benefit all.

With love and kindness,

Deirdre