Happy Spring to You!

This past month I went on another meditation retreat. Since I left Kripalu many years ago, I haven’t been on retreat as much in a year! I’m grateful that I’ve been taking the time, learning about who I am, what’s important to me, my patterns, and better ways to support you.

I also spoke to the Boston area National Association of Social Workers and was moved that Cynthia Pill, my thesis advisor when I was at Smith, came to my talk. What a pleasant and delightful surprise. Those parts of me that would rather live a hermit life are moved by having connection with others despite the years that pass.

Here’s what is in this ezine:

• an article on “Having Some Kind of Practice” in your life to sustain you when life gets bumpy
• practice section on becoming aware, a kind of mindfulness practice you might enjoy
• there are only a few more spots open in the Boston Becoming Safely Embodied Workshop for Therapists April 17-18, 2009.
• If you want to travel, I’ll be doing a couple of workshops in Scotland at the end of May, 2009

Nurture your practice—and your heart,

Deirdre

Having Some Kind of Practice

This ezine is late! I was going to get it out a week earlier but then life intervened. I’m doing a workshop in Boston April 17-18. Everything was going along smoothly, preparations were handled, registrations were in. All was well.

Then completely out of the blue, for me as well as the place I was going to have the workshop, the town shut down the location for repairs they felt were critical. That meant I needed to find a new space, quickly. In Boston space is often at a premium and at short notice, space can be hard to find, or very expensive. Hmmm. What to do?

I sent out an email to lots of people I know in the Boston area asking for recommendations or possibilities. They all responded. Luckily, I have the world’s best assistant, Heather. She took the whole task on and ran with it, and it looks like we’ll finalize on a space in the next day.

What surprised - and amazed me - is that I didn’t panic. I had mild moments of anxiety, but somehow deep inside me I knew it would all work out. I also trusted that somehow it would actually work out better

Mike Ward, who is a wonderful person and therapist in Boston, responded to my request for help with suggestions and letting me know he was impressed with my equanimity. I hadn’t noticed my equnimity until he wrote. I guess it’s true: I didn’t feel ruffled - at least not most of the time! This contrasts strongly with times when I would have panicked and been in a total swirl.

As I reflected on what was different this time, I realized (with some mild astonishment I might add) that it was having a consistent practice of meditation. Any time I waver from consistent practice is when I get more “tizzified,” more caught in the swirl, more overwhelmed, and unfortunately for those around me, more reactive.

Now, I’m not telling you to do what I do. What’s important to me is that you listen to yourself and see what draws you. What makes you feel more alive? For some that might be knitting, others drawing, others might be deeply nurtured doing math problems.

What does seem to make a different is to have a practice, especially a steady practice. Many of us engage in some kind of personal exploration, self-discovery work. Many, I might even venture to say, most of us are in some kind of therapy. I can hear you say, “More? You want me to do more?” (I totally understand that response!!)

What I notice is that when we combine awareness with a daily practice of some kind, where you unhook yourself from the story or drama of life, we open the door to more freedom. What could be better than that?

Embodiment/Practice

Over the years my meditation teachers have always said we’ll get more from our practice as we practice in the midst of everyday life. What’s important is to take something and practice it in small doses every day until it becomes a steady influence.

Yes, meditation is a good practice. But there are many thousands of practices we can do. The simplest are often the most effective, and they are often the ones most overlooked.

I know I often fall into thinking “bigger is better” - it must be more important or something. The more accessories it has the better it must be.

Training the mind (heart-soul-body) is actually a simple process - it just takes dedication and commitment. Particularly when we have a history of trauma or attachment issues then that kind of training can feel hard.

Here’s a simple and enormously powerful practice you can try: becoming aware through increasing mindfulness. The guidelines are:

1. Don’t push yourself, yet try to stretch a little more than you’re comfortable with.
2. Only do a small amount at first. See what amount feels right to you. Is one minute sufficient? Or does five minutes feel more comfortable?

Mindfulness: If you’re someone who gets overwhelmed by internal experience, try noticing what’s going on outside you more than what’s going on inside. Shift your attention. If you’re churning with inside “stuff” try going for a walk. Notice what you see.

What do you prefer looking at? Do you notice some things more than others? Become aware of your preferences and then notice what you don’t see. Are you more habitually drawn to bright colors or perhaps to softer colors? Do you find yourself attracted to things of nature or to other things? What appeals to you?

What sounds are there? Notice if you hear any birds. If so, can you tell if there are different birds or do they all seem to sound alike? Try noticing the noise of a car as a simple noise, without any embellishments. What is that like?

Are you aware of any smells? As we enter into spring our world is budding and letting go of all kinds of smells. Even if you’re in the Midwest and got inundated by snow, what particular smells are there when there’s fresh snow? Or rain? Watch a dog while you’re outside and observe the many thousands of smells they are constantly detecting. See if you can pay that much attention that you smell whatever is happening right now.

If you stop to touch a piece of wood, or stone, or tree, what does that feel like? Even if you don’t actually touch it, what would you imagine it would feel like? Without judgment, touch something smooth and then something rough. What is the difference?

What does it feel like inside you as you notice these simple experiences outside? Take a moment to reflect each day and let me know, let us all know by commenting on the blog. I’m really interested in what works and what doesn’t work, let me - all of us know.

Workshops and Talks

• Becoming Safely Embodied Workshop for Therapists, April 17-18, 2009, Boston area
• Befriending Inner Chaos Workshop, May 18-19, 2009, Glasgow, Scotland
• Becoming Safely Embodied Workshop, May 21, 2009, Edinburgh, Scotland
  

I do value your thoughts, comments and connection. Many of you have taken the time to write and let me know your thoughts. Coming out of isolation is a critical part of the healing process. I thought we might want to make it easier for you. Click here and we’ll send you to my blog where you can post to your hearts content!

With love and kindness,

Deirdre